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The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias, by Dolly Chugh
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Review
“Finally: an engaging, evidence-based book about how to battle biases, champion diversity and inclusion, and advocate for those who lack power and privilege. Dolly Chugh makes a convincing case that being an ally isn’t about being a good person—it’s about constantly striving to be a better person.” (Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take, Originals, and Option B with Sheryl Sandberg) “Dolly Chugh applies the power of a growth mindset to work on equity and inclusion at a time when it is much-needed. The Person You Mean to Be is essential reading.” (Carol Dweck, bestselling author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success) “This is a book for anyone who thinks of themselves as a pretty decent human being but who knows, deep in their heart, they could be better. A cocktail of stories and science that gets you thinking and, more important, gets you acting.” (Angela Duckworth, founder and CEO of Character Lab, and author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance) “Never has an author made it so easy to see our blind spots and the downsides of our best intentions. Dolly Chugh’s brilliant lens reveals the invisible, uncomfortable truths of ordinary privilege, yet offers a light that inspires and guides each of us to be the moral, inclusive leader we hope to be.” (Liz Wiseman, New York Times bestselling author of Multipliers and Rookie Smarts) “Dolly Chugh helps us identify our ‘platform of privilege’ and guides us on how we can use this and other tools to create positive change. She encourages us to accentuate our strengths and to manage our weaknesses, and forces us to focus on being better and stronger in everything we do.” (Billie Jean King, social justice pioneer and tennis champion) “Dolly Chugh has written the most important and actionable book on reducing bias that I have read. Using powerful and enduring findings from research on bias, she explains the reasons we fail to be the person we mean to be and provides prescriptions for managing the pitfalls of our humanness. This deeply personal book is a must-read.” (David Thomas, president of Morehouse College and author of Leading for Equity and Breaking Through) “In authoritative yet accessible prose, social psychologist Dolly Chugh outlines how we can all make the indispensable shift from being ‘believers’ who live under the ideal of inclusion to being ‘builders’ who live up to that ideal. This book is both guide and gift.” (Kenji Yoshino, author of Speak Now: Marriage Equality on Trial; Chief Justice Earl Warren Professor of Constitutional Law, NYU School of Law)
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From the Back Cover
An inspiring and accessible guide from an award-winning social psychologist on how to confront difficult issues, including sexism, racism, inequality, and injustice, so that you can make the world (and yourself) betterMany of us believe in equality, diversity, and inclusion. But how do we stand up for those values in our turbulent world? The Person You Mean to Be is the smart, “semi-bold” person’s guide to fighting for what you believe in.Dolly Chugh, a social psychologist and professor at the New York University Stern School of Business, reveals the surprising causes of inequality, grounded in the “psychology of good people.” Using her research findings in unconscious bias as well as work across psychology, sociology, economics, political science, and other disciplines, she offers practical tools to respectfully and effectively talk politics with family, to be a better colleague to people who don’t look like you, and to avoid being a well-intentioned barrier to equality. Becoming the person we mean to be starts with a look at ourselves.She argues that the only way to be on the right side of history is to be a good-ish — rather than good — person. Good-ish people are always growing. Her science-based approach is a method that any of us can put to use in all parts of our life.Whether you are a longtime activist or new to the fight, you can start from where you are. We are guided, through the compelling stories Dolly shares and the surprising science she reports, to being the person we mean to be.
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Product details
Hardcover: 320 pages
Publisher: HarperBusiness (September 4, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0062692143
ISBN-13: 978-0062692146
Product Dimensions:
6 x 1 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.9 out of 5 stars
47 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#32,934 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
"I had hoped that [good people] would understand that law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and that when they fail in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress."*Martin Luther King wrote those words in his Letter From a Birmingham Jail in 1963. More than 50 years later, many of those same dams still exist - and even though many of us think of ourselves as good people, if we're honest, we're often much more focused on our own day-to-day challenges than we are on finding ways to encourage social progress.Dolly's book attacks that challenge head-on, and provides a blueprint for how we can be more aware of challenges others face, more likely to engage those challenges, and more capable of using our privilege in ways that produce a more positive outcome. Throughout the book, I felt inspired to look for ways to make a positive impact in my own day-to-day interactions. Just as importantly, Dolly does a fantastic job highlighting common mistakes people make - often with the best intentions - that can frustrate progress.I am certain that anyone reading this book will come away recognizing behaviors in themselves that they can improve on, that they will be inspired to pursue potentially uncomfortable conversations / experiences in the hopes of learning about those around them and their challenges. Throughout, the book blends anecdotes (see my disclosure below, btw) with years of research that will give even the most skeptical reader confidence that progress is not only possible, it's likely.* Dr. King didn't say "good people". He said "the white moderate". He was specifically calling attention to the vast majority of whites in the early 60s who were generically in favor of civil rights, but often specifically opposed to the methods and tactics chosen by those most affected by the lack of civil rights. For purposes of this quote (and given the focus of Dolly's book more broadly), it felt appropriate to swap out the generic 'good people' without altering the meaning of what he was saying.Full disclosure: I'm one of the people Dolly profiles in her book. I'm recommending the book in spite of that, not because of that. :)
The Person You Mean to Be is an extraordinary book that helped me answer questions I’ve been grappling with for a long time. I am a true believer in equity, diversity and inclusion but have often found myself paralyzed by fear, discomfort and/or the sheer enormity of the problems facing the world. As hard as it is to admit, I have let too many opportunities slip by having done nothing to be a part of the solution. The Person You Mean to Be helped me stop beating myself up about it and showed me that there are things I can do each and every day to take meaningful action to fight injustice. It provided specific, tangible ways I can use my own privilege and power to make a difference. This book has changed the way I think and most importantly, it has changed the way I live my life. I am a total work in progress, but this book was the jumping off point I needed to activate my own growth mindset and set me on a path toward becoming meaningfully more active and impactful on the world around me.In addition to being so incredibly useful, practical and inspiring, Dolly Chugh is also one of the most engaging, endearing and charming authors I’ve read. I loved this book so much I bought 5 more copies for friends and family. I can’t recommend this book highly enough.
There are few things that have made me quite as uncomfortable as the deep realization that I am steered by my unconscious biases. As a proudly self labeled “Allyâ€, I approached this book as something that would reinforce what I already knew - I was doing everything right. Wrong.The Person You Mean To Be is full of realizations that even the most well meaning among us are still afflicted with unconscious bias, our own and that of others, and as one chapter tells us, “builders opt for willful awarenessâ€.I don’t have all of the words yet to fully articulate how important and timely this work is.
Stop whatever you are doing. Read this book (The Person You Mean to Be, by Dolly Chugh). Then, continue with your life in a new way, because “if you are not part of the problem, you cannot be part of the solution.†I’m quoting a chapter title from the book, and it’s one of the many brainworms in this essential book about privilege, empathy, and bias. At the end of it you’ll continue to think – all the time – about headwinds and tailwinds, bounded awareness, being humanized versus otherized. But wait! You also get - in addition to an effortless narrative style, and thoughtful stories and research told with care, precision and heart – a few steps you can take to move from believer (“all these good thoughts and concepts are so… Good!) to the vital builder (“I can make a difference, and I NEED TO make a difference in how I, my friends, my community and this lovely, lonely planet – in that order – do the work of confronting unconscious bias.â€) It’s a topic we breeze over in conversations and workshops, and decide to talk about another time. Dr. Chugh tells us how to do the work, now. Now is only time to start your transition from a good person to the person you mean to be.
Dolly Chugh's analysis is spot on. Most human resource directors and company leaders that I interact with have made steps toward incorporating inclusiveness & diversity best practices into the workplace...yet sense something is still missing and don't know where to go from here.Identifying the bias that "good-ish" individuals still hold and making suggestions on how to move forward reads like a Phase 2 Implementation Guide to encouraging people and organizations further in this direction. While you may not always feel "good-ish" while you read it, you will certainly feel "good-ish-er" by the end for facing realities and identifying a few paths forward.
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